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Protecting the Queen - What Can the Fandom Do to Ease Pressure on Lana Parrilla at Cons

The day after RegalCon 2015 I posted this post about how scary and sad I thought the behavior of some fans towards Lana at the con was.  A number of people replied to that post with similar experiences from both Spooky Empire and FairyTales.  As this is clearly an ongoing problem and we can’t guarantee that the con organizers will be able to respond to these circumstances I have a number of suggestions to help us as a fandom build a culture of more respectful self awareness of how not to smother her (or really any other actor with a lot of demands on them at these events).  I urge everyone to take what is said here to heart, but also that it is not a condemnation of anyone or a shaming of their desire to have a connection with Lana.  It is only that this…

… can not be the norm.  [picture from sgtmac7 of Lana in the center of a crowd at Regal Con’s Queen’s Reception].  

Here is some general thoughts about how to try and ease the burden on Lana.

• At events and signings try to limit yourself to a maximum of 2 minutes of her time.  You can get a lot in that time and think about what you want to say to her before you get to her.  Understand that it may be a lot less than 2 minutes but if you are in an event with other fans and you are taking more than that amount of time you need to consider both her and other fans.  Once you’ve had your time, move away.  Don’t try and linger to hear others conversation.
• Lana is a stranger to you, no matter how much you relate to her, or even if you think (or do) have a connection to her.  Don’t ask anything of her that you wouldn’t ask any other stranger.  This includes details about sex both personal and fictional.
  
• Understand that she can’t answer shipper questions the way everyone wants her too.  Consider asking about other subjects.
• Be respectful of her family and her privacy.  If she talks about her family that’s alright, but if you bring it up tread carefully.
  
• Do not approach her (or any actor) while they are eating.  Especially if they are with their family.
• Do not touch her (or any actor) without permission.  Permission for one handshake or hug is not permission for more.
  
• Respect her personal space.  Do not get closer in conversation then an arm length.
• Do not follow her (or any actor).  Especially don’t follow her into bathrooms or out of bathrooms or into elevators.  If you happen to be in the bathroom or in the elevator fine.  But neither of these locations is an appropriate space for a private meet and greet.
  
• If you are giving her a gift, have it in a gift bag, do not expect or ask her to open it in front of you.  Put your name and contact information on a card in the bag so that she can thank you in her own time and way.  This is what took a lot of time in the autograph lines.
  
• Wave, smile, say hi if you see her in the halls, but do not approach her.  She’s likely going somewhere and even more likely late.
  

Please pass this around your friends who may be going to cons with Lana in the coming months and additions are more than welcome.  I really do believe we as a fandom can make things better if we moderate ourselves and we try to help our friends moderate their own demands.  None of us wants Lana to burn out, or feel unsafe, or stop her one on one interactions with fans completely.

#TheQueensGuard

Consider this a fair warning, especially if you’re going to cons this summer! I witnessed the garbage Lana had to go through to please EVERYONE last summer in FT2 and at the point when she realized she couldn’t (because time was extremely limited and her handlers were rashing the shit out of every meet/signing/etc) she started friggin CRYING. For God’s sakes, show some respect towards this woman and do not take advantage of her heart, that is big for all of us (it truly is, believe me)! As much as we wish it otherwise, she is a normal person, not a superhuman with extra strength and superpowers beyond ours.

So… message passed: LANA MUST BE PROTECTED AT ALL COSTS, EVEN IF IT MEANS YOUR TIME WITH HER!

I did not know about this sparticular bit…and it absolutely breaks my heart. Especially because I can, unfortunately, totally see it.

I attended FT2 last year as well and happened to be one of those fans at the very end of Sunday’s autograph line who were asked not to chat to Lana but just get our stuff signed and move away. Obviously we weren’t thrilled to have our time cut short but to my huge relief, most of us respected this. And thank goodness for that, because when I got to Lana’s table, she looked about ready to pass out from exhaustion. I caught one of her people asking her if she was okay and Lana’s not at all convincing yes. Make no mistake, she still smiled and looked everyone in the eye and continued to give us all her full attention in that short time we had. Lana is tremendously caring and giving towards her fans. That doesn’t mean it’s okay to push her limits (I would argue it’s quite the opposite).

I haven’t shared this little story publicly until now. I’d almost felt guilty for witnessing that exchange, even though I couldn’t really help it - it was such a vulnerable moment. The reason I am sharing now is to help people understand why it is so important for us fans to set ourselves boundaries and be respectful and considerate - to the guest and to each other. Especially with someone as generous with her time and attention as Lana is.

At the end of the day, all of us hope to gain a lovely, positive experience from the interactions. Let’s make it such for the actors as well. They deserve it.